10.4.10

An insult

Long time ago, in a hired limousine, on my way to the airport, a man insulted me. At the time, I did not understand it. I did not care. I was in love with him. Today I see him very clearly, but then I was on the verge of leaving everything behind  me to be with him. And I do mean everything. Today I loathe him  like I ought loathed him then. Today I see very clearly that he was not worthy. I still remember, oh so vividly, how I laid , naked, and fetus like, on the floor of my bedroom , crying like never before. Oh, how silly and stupid and over felt of me. And for that, I hold him responsible: for making me so silly and übersspant!

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